


Maybe Rainbows Do Match Our Aesthetic After All

by Squigmistress



Series: Big, Beautiful Feelings [2]
Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Canon Gay Character, Character Development, Feelings, Feelings Realization, Gay Pride, M/M, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Pride, Queer Themes, Rainbows, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-26 14:41:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30107535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Squigmistress/pseuds/Squigmistress
Summary: When David spots some rainbow stickers in Rose Apothecary it spurs a discussion about queer identity. Feelings ensue.CW: A brief mention of internalized homophobia.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Series: Big, Beautiful Feelings [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2215089
Comments: 42
Kudos: 152





	Maybe Rainbows Do Match Our Aesthetic After All

David walks in, late as usual, with his coffee and a tea for his fiancé (holy shit it’s been months but he still gets a zing of joy every time he even thinks the word). The bell jingles and the door swings shut. David looks up and smiles at Patrick’s beautiful face. Then he sees them. 

David stops short. Who approved this?! Oh, who is he kidding. The only other person who could get merchandise for the store is Patrick.

Still standing frozen, staring at the brightly colored stickers sitting conspicuously in one of their hand carved business card holders near the cash, David takes a deep breath. He doesn’t want a repeat of that whole incident with the lip balms. Well, at least not the arguing and suffering part. He wouldn’t mind the part where conflict brought in some growth and intimacy to his and Patrick’s relationship. It’s not his first reaction, but he knows that the only thing that prioritizes growth is curiosity, not judgment. 

David takes another deep breath and makes eye contact with Patrick. Instead of the mischievous grin he expects, he sees a quiet hesitance in Patrick’s eyes. Well, now he’s confused. And a little scared. The last time he saw that face was on Patrick’s last birthday. What’s this about? 

David approaches Patrick, sets his tea down on the counter, and pulls him in for a hug. He places a gentle kiss on his temple. Patrick breathes in his scent and puts his face into David’s neck. 

“Morning,” says David quietly.

“Hi, “ Patrick responds, breathing in deeply, like he can’t get enough of David’s smell. 

David pulls away gently and looks at Patrick again. He looks a little shy. “Do you want to talk about the stickers?” 

“Are you ready to talk about the stickers?” David responds.

“Not really. I want to talk to you about them, but I feel nervous. Can we talk tonight after work? Come stay with me?” says Patrick, avoiding David’s eyes.

David’s heart clenches. What is this about? He notices that he isn’t afraid Patrick will leave, which fills his entire body with the warmth of love and safety. He blames this sensation for his next decision, utterly ignoring the store’s carefully curated aesthetic and supporting his beloved’s tacky rainbow stickers that he has, for some reason, prominently displayed.

They move through the day with quiet ease. David notices that Patrick seems drawn into himself. He knows he gets this way. All up in his head. David tries to sooth his partner’s suffering with extra touches and small moments of affection. He knows, instinctively, that this is about something bigger. He just isn’t sure what.

They get home that night with takeout pizza and wine stolen from the store. And after a glass, David decided it was safe to broach the topic and took a breath, steadying himself. Before he could speak, words rushed out of Patrick’s mouth. 

“I know that the rainbows don’t fit the sand and stone color palette, David.”

“I know you know that, honey. Thank you for remembering the palette. So what is this really about?”

Patrick looks up, surprised. He sees nothing but love on David’s face. He stares into David’s eyes for a long moment then smiles. He remembers tender temple kisses. Patience with his anger. Willingness to be just his business partner on his birthday. He remembers that David has been through this, even if it’s been so long for him that he sometimes forgets the little details.

“I have been thinking a lot about my sexual identity. About some of the other talks we have had. I thought about my teenage years. Of the crushes I didn’t know I had. Of the locker room jokes that pushed me further into the closet. And I thought about what some of the folks in my online group have said.”

David interrupts softly, “What online group? I didn’t know you were in an online group?” He says it with curiosity and a little twinge of hurt. It’s not because he’s afraid, he just wants to know everything about this man. Especially if it helps him be prepared to sooth Patrick’s pain. 

Patrick gives him a small smile. 

“I found a discord community for people who came out...later in life. It has been really helpful to talk to other people and not feel alone.”

David smiles tenderly. “I’m sorry you have felt alone.”

Patrick senses that David’s insecurity might be starting to creep in. He feels so honored by how much faith David is now able to put in their relationship, he wants to reassure him.

“Hey,” Patrick says, and grabs David’s hand. David looks up to see those big, loving brown eyes. “David this isn’t about you. I feel so safe and deeply supported by you. And sometimes, I just need to connect with folks who are at the same developmental phase as me. It’s like you are a fully fledged queer adult and I just feel a bit like an excited, awkward gay teenager.”

David lets out a little laugh of relief. “Thank god the sex feels like fully fledged adult gay sex though.” He squeezed Patrick’s hand.

“Seriously. I feel pretty lucky to have jumped right into bed with a master,” laughs Patrick.

“But in all seriousness. I read some articles folks posted, like about the development of sexual identity? And it felt really validating to put words to some of the feelings I was feeling. I realized that I’m going through some feelings that maybe you went through when you were like, 14?”

Just then, it hits David like a ton of bricks.

“Oh my god, Patrick. I’m so sorry. It’s my job as like, a queer elder or something, to remember this. I’m sorry I didn’t see it sooner.”

“See what?” says Patrick.

“That you are in your queer adolescence!” he says, warmly but also a bit exasperated.

Patrick breathes out a sigh of relief and lunges in to kiss his fiance. When he finally pulls away he looks so fondly at David that it takes his breath away. “I totally am.”

“So, the stickers are about celebrating you? About being an out, proud gay man?”

Patrick blushes so deeply that David gets a bit aroused. He usually only sees those colors in the bedroom. 

This man. The man who kissed David with devilish confidence in view of the whole town, only 14 hours after coming out to anyone, out loud. Patrick, who is such a confident lover. Patrick, who has never been afraid to hold his hand or kiss him in public. He needs rainbow stickers. Of course he fucking does. David steals himself. He’s going to have to admit something to Patrick he would have liked to remain buried. But if Patrick can be vulnerable, so can he.

“I went through a rainbow phase,” he says.

Patrick’s head snaps up. “You did?!” 

It’s hard for Patrick to believe. He struggles to conjure up images of color in David’s wardrobe. Besides the fire sweatshirt, which is of course, burned into his memory, he can’t find anything. 

“Um. Remember when I told you about the high school parties? With bowls of molly? Well...I was also dressing like a candy raver. Let me just say there were unfortunately wide, wide legged jeans and many rainbows. It was like a unicorn vomited on me.”

Patrick’s smile is radiant. “What I wouldn’t give to see that,” he giggles.

“Ok so you must swear on your life that you will not speak of this outside of this room.” David pulls out his phone and unlocks a folder to some app that Patrick has never noticed. He holds up the phone and Patrick sees it. Black bucket leg jeans, hair in his face, rainbow necklaces, rainbow earrings. (David had his ears pierced?!). Rainbow mesh or fishnet? Something. Rainbow gloves. RAINBOW GLOVES.

“Oh my god.” Patrick is stunned.

“I’m sorry I didn’t see it because I was like, the poster boy for queer adolescence. I wasn’t really out here. I was 15. Everyone just thought I was gay and back then, wearing eyeliner only reinforced that awful stereotype. Makeup is for everyone, thankyouverymuch. But Patrick, It’s like I wanted people to notice. To see me. I didn’t want to have to come out. I remember the need to, quite literally, wear my identity. As painful as these fashion choices are, I keep the pictures to remind me of this time. Because as hard as it was, there was a swelling pride in who I was. A desire to shout it from the rooftops. That phase is long over for me, but it was so important. I think I had to go through it to get to where I am now.”

David has been looking down this whole time because that was a lot of talking after showing one of the most tragic fashion choices of his life. He looks up and Patrick’s face is streaming with tears. But, he is still smiling with so much joy that he lights up the whole damn room.

“So, can the rainbow stickers stay? They are made by a lesbian in Elm Hills. I bought a bunch from her as she is selling them as a fundraiser for the Queer Club at the local high school. I just thought I’d sell them to recoup the cost…” Patrick gets quieter when he says that and looks down.

“Is that really why you wanted to sell them, honey?”

“No.” Patrick sighs, then looks up at David confidently. “I wanted to sell them so that fourteen year old kid who needs one will have them there. Or so I can give them away. Or that little eight year old boy can ask his parents about them and get information that I didn’t get. Kissing you everyday is one thing but having those, giving them away is like my form of the rainbow gloves, you know?”

David can’t get enough of this man. Every time he thinks he knows what love is, Patrick teaches him how to stretch into something more. He surprises himself with his next words. It’s April after all, they have time.

“Would you like to help me create a curated display with special products for PRIDE?” says David, unable to contain his smile.

“Really?!” exclaims Patrick.

“Really. Patrick, you know we already carry products by quite a few local, queer artisans. We can start by featuring them, with their permission of course, then look to source some new things.”

“David, I have so many ideas! I’ve been paying attention when I go on buying trips!” It feels like Patrick is almost yelling. Oh my god his gay adolescense is so beautiful.

David laughs. He never would have imagined encouraging Patrick to take the lead on a themed display. But he needs this, and David will be there to polish it.

He stands up and motions to Patrick, making grabby hands to motion for a hug. Patrick jumps up and places his hands around David’s waist, almost squeezing the breath out of him. It sounds like Patrick is laughing. When he looks up, David sees tears on his face. He places his palm on Patrick’s cheek and swipes the tear away with his thumb.

“I’m going to go get my sketchbook so we can brainstorm. I want to hear all of your ideas, then we will work together to soften the edges and curate the whole celebration to the Rose Apothecary Brand. But Patrick, we are keeping the stickers,” says David, with a finality that Patrick never would have imagined at the beginning of the day. 

“Thank you, David,” he says and squeezes his fiance’s hip. Patrick feels tears falling down his face and notices his cheeks are getting sore from smiling. He knows that David is somehow helping him heal parts of himself. He’s so grateful.

And he’s totally going to put one of those rainbow stickers on his car.


End file.
